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    Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by Ace on Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:28 am

    Oh, that makes sense.

    Something that I think would make the ending sound more interesting would be if the word was 'met' and not 'meet'. That might just be me though; I usually use past tense, and I'm not sure if past tense would work because most of your story is present tense. Just something to consider.

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by WritingBookworm on Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:49 am

    Ace wrote:Oh, that makes sense.

    Something that I think would make the ending sound more interesting would be if the word was 'met' and not 'meet'. That might just be me though; I usually use past tense, and I'm not sure if past tense would work because most of your story is present tense. Just something to consider.
    Know what, you're right. I'll change it. . . As soon as I get back from rehearsal because I have to go to school now. See ya! Very Happy

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by boyhoy on Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:51 am

    Haha mythie was wrong!

    Other than that awful cliffhanger, I loved the story!! The personalities of those two characters are great! I loved the fight scene! Once again you've got me hooked on a story, writing.... Thanks a lot.

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by WritingBookworm on Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:14 pm

    boyhoy wrote:Haha mythie was wrong!

    Other than that awful cliffhanger, I loved the story!! The personalities of those two characters are great! I loved the fight scene! Once again you've got me hooked on a story, writing.... Thanks a lot.
    Lol, you're welcome. >Razz
    Okay, second part's done. Allow me to go through it real quick and it'll be posted soon.

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by WritingBookworm on Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:23 pm


    Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation (Part 2)


    Turns out, I was wrong.

    Blackheart wasn't a he.

    I enter what can't be described as anything else but a control room. The walls and floor are all black. There's a large world map on the wall between two monitors on a desk. A woman with a sharp black braid stands, punching things into the computers while sneaking glances at the other screens.

    Then she stops.

    She turns around and looks straight at me.

    I get a much better look at her. She wears a black uniform, decorated by a few medals and other badges that can only mean outstanding achievement in the field of battle.

    This is Blackheart, I realize.

    She has a soft, heart-shaped face, and would have looked very innocent if not for the cold dark eyes. The only sign of life in those eyes is a faint tinge of green.

    Suddenly I recognize those eyes.

    The adrenaline. . . Screaming. . . Blood. . .

    The helicopter. The assassin in the dark suit, with everything covered save her eyes.

    Those unforgiving, predatory eyes that almost lose its triumphant gleam when she receives a burning stare.


    The realization seeps into my veins, turning my blood to stone. The eyes become the biggest they've ever been and my mouth hangs open.

    I can't move. I can't speak. I can't think.

    Then all at once my body kicks in. I run right at Blackheart and punch her straight in the jaw as hard as I can.

    She doesn't seem fazed. She narrows her eyes ever-so-slightly, regarding me with amusement.

    "Is that all you've got?"

    My instinctual response is to give her another punch in the face. She catches my fist with her hand. I try kicking her in the stomach. Her leg meets mine and and she brings it around, placing it back near my body.

    My breaths come out in ragged, forceful gasps. An influx of emotions rush into my chest--a desire to cry, a yearn to scream, a need to get the Hawaiian coaster out of the pouch on my calf and hold it close to my heart.

    Mostly, just a big fat urge to punch her as many times as I can.

    But I don't do that. Instead I whip my hand out and grab her throat. I vault behind her before she can do anything, grab her pistol and roll away. When I stand up, I've got it pointed at her.

    "Why?" I asked. "Why'd you do it?"

    Blackheart merely tilts her head to the side. "You seem to be very interested in me. Who might you be?"

    My eyes darken.

    "My name," I say, "is Ashleigh Harrison. I'm Eva's daughter."

    Blackheart lifts her eyebrows. "Eva, you say? I once knew an Eva."

    "Yeah, I get that. You're the one who killed her."

    "I won't deny it."

    The way she says it so freaking casually sends a fiery pillar of hot anger bursting through my stomach.

    I begin panting. "Why? Why kill her, why work for SRSIA, why betray Evergreen?"

    "Betray Evergreen?"

    "Yes, BETRAY EVERGREEN!" My grip on the pistol tightens. "Don't lie to me. I saw your name on a student file, I know that you once attended Evergreen, that you knew Mom well."

    Blackheart at last drops her amusement. Her eyes become as guarded as steel, but at the same time the green tint is exposed more than ever before.

    "Well then, Miss Harrison, you seem to know a fair amount," she says. "Do you know my relation to her as well?

    "You betrayed and murdered her. That's all I need to know."

    "No my dear, it isn't. I know your name, so I'll let you know mine: Vivian Leigh Calder. My maiden name is Resnik."

    Resnik.

    Eva Resnik.

    Blackheart smiles and walks a little too casually to the monitors. "Oh. I see she never told you about your dear aunt Vivian."

    "Stop it," I say. "I only have one uncle on my Mom's side--"

    "I was her twin, you know."

    "This doesn't make sense--"

    "We were rather close--"

    "Mom would've never done that."

    "If only you'd seen the look on her face when she discovered that I was aligned with SRSIA--"

    I fire a bullet at the ceiling. "SHUT UP!"

    Blackheart is quiet as the echos of the gunshot resound through the room.

    My lips unfurl into a snarl. "You are NOT her sister, you are NOT family, you are NOT my aunt, and even if you were, you'd be a terrible one!"

    But even as I say it, I can see the resemblance between Eva and Vivian. They have the same rounded shoulders, slim pink lips and extremely identical cheekbones. On top of all of that, the green in her eyes looks way too similar to mine to be a coincidence. The more I try to unsee it, the more I see it.

    "You really want to kill me, don't you?"

    I try to hide my surprise, but it doesn't work. "I can see it. You've wanted to exact revenge for years. You think that it's only right because of what I've done."

    "Yeah, pretty much."

    "Well, here's your chance." Vivian spreads her arms out as if she's about to give me a hug. "Go ahead. You've got the gun."

    She's right.

    I do have the gun.

    I bring the barrel of the pistol right up to Vivian's face, centering it right between the eyes. Point blank.

    I shift my feet, making sure I'm perfectly balanced. I place my finger on the trigger.

    Seven years have led up right up to this moment. All it takes is a squeeze.

    I look straight into Vivian's eyes. I take a deep breath--

    I hold it. Each second that goes by is an eternity that withers me to the bone. At last I summon each ounce of my willpower--

    --and lower the gun.

    The doors to the control room slam open, and I nearly jump. I look to the entrants.

    Dread as heavy as lead drips into my stomach.

    Ben and Cora. They look a little worse for wear, but otherwise fine. Between them both is Ace, unconscious and his hands cuffed behind his back.

    "No," I say quietly. "But. . . but. . ."

    Ben shoves Ace to the ground. "The guy's surprisingly resistant to tranquilizer, but we did it," he says to Vivian.

    I grit my teeth and point my gun at them. "Back away right now or I'll shoot you both."

    Ben smirks and aims his own gun at Ace's head. I'm confident that they don't intend to use tranquilizer this time.

    "If you shoot, I shoot," he says. "And I'll shoot anyways, unless you drop your weapons and put your hands on your head."

    I tighten my arm to keep it from shaking. "Come on guys, can't you think of more creative methods to get the heroine to surrender?"

    He just cocks the gun.

    I stand frozen for a few long seconds. Then I slam the pistol on the ground.

    "Good," says Cora. "Now your other weapons."

    I do as requested and stiffly remove my buzzer and draw Mr. Pocketknife. I drop both of them next to Vivian's pistol and place my hands on my head.

    My fingernails bite into my skull. I was going to give those two a very good electrocution once I had the chance.

    Cora heaves a sigh of relief. "Well, there's that, moth--Blackheart."

    She may have corrected herself, but I still caught what she was going to say.

    Mother.

    Now I know why Vivian had been offering herself up on a silver platter. If I had taken the bait and shot her, Cora would have discovered the truth and would have taken up an oath of vengeance against me, just like I had. Thus Vivian would be hailed as a SRSIA hero, the Harrison name would be tarnished and I would likely end up dead sooner or later.

    Even I had to admit that was well-played.

    I raise my eyebrows. "Wow. You know, I never knew I had such a messed up family," I say with a small smile.

    Cora whips around to me and aims her rifle at me, her face livid. Her look nearly makes me laugh, and I temporarily forget that I'm supposed to be afraid.

    Vivian ignores my comment. "Atkinson, Calder, well done." She turns to me. "Miss Harrison, I have a feeling that you're about to regret not killing me."

    "Killing, no. Maiming or seriously injuring? Very."

    Vivian sits down on the desk and crosses her legs. "You and your associate came on board to investigate our cargo, correct? Well, you're about to find out what this cargo is."

    "What?"

    Her lips curl into a nasty grin. "Parts for a nuclear warhead," she says. "We had a few of SRSIA's top chemists onboard to assemble it. Now it's done, and today we will utterly decimate our target, which happens to be located right about. . . here."

    Vivian points to a location on the big world map. Thing is, I recognize it. The fear that had left me now returns, greater and more powerful than ever.

    Now I know the 'they' Ben and Cora had been referring to earlier.

    Evergreen.

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by boyhoy on Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:04 pm

    ........... If you end your chapter like that again I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you.

    In all seriousness though, I love the chapter xD. I don't even know what to say negatively about it. It had me captivated from the first sentence and the emotion was so clear. Love the twist about the family. That threw me for a loop! I will be anxiously awaiting the next chapter Very Happy

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by Ace on Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:17 am

    Wow that chapter was amazing; I couldn't stop reading it! Just a question, but did Cora and Ash know they were related or not? Because I wasn't sure if you put that part there to make it certain that Vivian was her aunt or just to explain the idea of vehemence and heroism that came after. Anyways, I think this chapter is definitely better than the last chapter, but I usually happen to like plot scenes more than I do action scenes. Keep up the good work!

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by Mythie on Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:20 am

    Yup I saw that coming.........

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by WritingBookworm on Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:30 pm

    boyhoy wrote:........... If you end your chapter like that again I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you.

    In all seriousness though, I love the chapter xD. I don't even know what to say negatively about it. It had me captivated from the first sentence and the emotion was so clear. Love the twist about the family. That threw me for a loop! I will be anxiously awaiting the next chapter Very Happy
    Kill me, huh? Ha, try me. >Razz Anyways, thank you!

    Ace wrote:Wow that chapter was amazing; I couldn't stop reading it! Just a question, but did Cora and Ash know they were related or not? Because I wasn't sure if you put that part there to make it certain that Vivian was her aunt or just to explain the idea of vehemence and heroism that came after. Anyways, I think this chapter is definitely better than the last chapter, but I usually happen to like plot scenes more than I do action scenes. Keep up the good work!
    Thanks. Very Happy And to answer the question, here's a basic lowdown:
    1. Vivian actually could Ash was Eva's daughter right on sight (they've got a lot of similarities that are both physical and psychological). She was toying with her at first.
    2. Ash didn't know until Vivian told her, of course.
    3. Cora found out when Ash made that remark, but she was too busy being insulted to be shocked. Razz
    4. I put it there pretty much for the second one.

    Mythie wrote:Yup I saw that coming.........
    Well, the audience is supposed to know, in a way. But Ash doesn't, which is the point and makes it all the more interesting to read--at least, that was the effect I was hoping for. Razz So yeah, it's more of a climatic story-thing than a twist-and-turny story-thing.

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

    Post by WritingBookworm on Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:05 am

    Here's the third part, guys. I hope you had a fantastic Halloween! Very Happy

    Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation (Part 3)

    "But that's not--" I try to wrap my mind around the idea. My effort doesn't work. "You can't do that. Why on earth would you do that?"

    "Because when you consider strategy," Vivian says, "it is the perfect move. The European Spy Organization places much of the weight of their future on the students of Evergreen. By destroying Evergreen, I will be destroying the next generation of spies. The ESO, over time, will be rather damaged by this move."

    "Th-They can always find new spies," I say.

    "Yes, I suppose they can. But will they be competent spies?"

    "Evergreen was your home," I say and glare at her. "Because of that, you're going to regret this."

    "That's where you're wrong, darling." She rises from the desk and crosses over to me. "Evergreen may have been a place of bliss for you, my insipid sister, and every other student who went, but not me. I wanted to throw my Evergreen letter in the garbage as soon as I received it, but I was pressured to go. I severely wish I hadn't fled the place immediately."

    She shrugs. "But, I suppose I must give the place some credit. It started me on my path, thus allowing me to become who I was destined to be."

    "A megalomaniacal mass murder?"

    "No. A leader."

    Vivian walked back over to the desk and picked up a  simple, oval, gray device with a 9 digit keypad the size of her hand.

    "It's finally time," she murmurs.

    I couldn't believe this. First she killed my Mom, and now she was about to kill many of my friends in Evergreen. Then she'd surely execute Ace and I. Something stung my eyelids. It was just like that night when Vivian murdered Eva. . .

    Then I slowly realize something. No, it wasn't. There was a big difference between then and now; I couldn't prevent tragedy on that night, but I could on this one.

    The question was, with Vivian punching in the launch code and Ace knocked out cold and held at gunpoint, how?

    I close my eyes and gradually smooth out my mind. I need a plan, one that doesn't involve either the destruction of Evergreen or Ace's death, and I need one quick. . .

    I get one.

    I open my eyes and lunge for the pistol before I can stop myself. I fire a bullet at Ben's hand, dive to the ground, and roll. The outburst of pain and the clattering of a gun tells me that I was very lucky and hit.

    I jump up and swing the butt of the pistol at Cora's jaw, making the bottom of her head clearly exposed. I scan Cora's waist--there they are.

    I yank a key ring off of her only for her to grab my wrist. I twist my arm out of her grip, push her and slam her head into the floor for good measure.

    Ben's eyes go wide when he sees her sprawled on the floor. He forgets about his wound and runs to her aid. "Cora!"

    In the meantime, I get to Ace as fast as I can. I fumble around with the keys, finally managing to properly unlock his handcuffs when I come to the fourth key. I shoot blindly at Vivian as I begin to rip them off.

    I throw a glance at Ben and Cora. They're still recuperating. I look back to Ace, toss the cuffs aside and begin shaking him.

    "Wake up." He doesn't stir.

    I heave a sigh. "Hey, stupid, GET UP."

    Still nothing.

    I gulp. "Please, Ace, I really need you right now. Blackheart wants--"

    "So you're really that worried, huh?"

    My first reaction is pure relief. My second is anger.

    "Oh come on!" I say. "How long were you conscious?"

    "A few seconds." He rose up to his feet. "What's--"

    I know what he's going to say before he says it. "You were captured, and Blackheart, who's apparently auntie dear, intends to bomb Evergreen and I need some serious backup right now."

    I give the pistol to him. "Here. You're a much better shot than I am. Now we need to stop--"

    "And just how are you going to do that when I've already hit enter?" Vivian suddenly says.

    The floor suddenly shivers slightly, and I stretch my arms out to maintain my balance. I can vaguely hear something being launched. The very metal under me seems to unfurl and leave me falling down in an abyss of terror.

    Ace is the first of us to act. In a flash he runs over to Cora and hauls her up. He kicks Ben aside and tightens his grip on Cora when she struggles vehementally. He takes her gun and tosses it to me. I slide it into the same pocket as my Hawaiian coaster.

    "Is there another code?" he asks. "One that can cancel the missile?"

    "Don't be stupid--"

    "You'd better be telling the truth, Blackheart." He cocks the gun to prove his point.

    Vivian narrows her eyes. Her body becomes stiff. Just as I conclude that she's not going to say anything she speaks up.

    "Yes. We at SRSIA like to be prepared."

    "What is it?" he says.

    Then Cora slams the heel of her foot into Ace's kneecap. She wrestles free of his grip and subsequently takes his wrist and judo flips him to the ground.

    "Ace!" I start after him, but that's when I see Vivian's fingers flying rapidly over a keyboard. I change course immediately.

    I stop only to reaquire my buzzer and Mr. Pocketknife. I run to Vivian and try to push the buzzer on her chest--she simply dodges and retaliates with a right hook to my jaw.

    I grunt and swing at her--she simply dodges again, just like a very graceful, highly trained acrobat. I spin around and aim my elbow at her head--she simply rises back up with a nice jab to my stomach.

    I stumble, and reel over to clutch my stomach. Bad mistake. Vivian delivers a swift kick, and I hear something in one of my hands break.

    I cry out in agony, then grit my teeth, cutting off the cry. I can't let pain get in the way. Pain was temporary. Victory--and Evergreen--was forever.

    I give something akin to a war cry and slice Vivian's forearm with Mr. Pocketknife. Finally, she's the one giving a cry of pain.

    I'm quick to use the time wisely. I spin around, come back behind her and yank her braid to the ground as hard as I can. She ultimately slips and falls. By the count of three I have her completely pinned.

    "Tell me the cancellation code now, or else--"

    It would've killed me had I not reacted in time. I hear a bullet behind fired and I lower my head just in time. I can hear the whizzing of the bullet as it sails just a few inches over my head and ultimately buries itself into one of the monitors.

    I can hear sparks crackling behind me as I draw out my pistol. My eyes are bloodshot, my breathing labored and my blood buzzing with adrenaline. Deeply shaken, I give another war cry, close my eyes and fire multiple times, blindly forcing bullets to pelt out of the gun--

    Big mistake.

    I only stop shooting when all the bullets have run out. I look up and see both Ben lying in a pool of blood and Cora crumbling to her knees, her chest swelling with blood.

    A chill crawls over my pores. Slowly, slowly, I lower the pistol, realizing the extent of what I've done.

    "No," I say. "No no no no no, don't die--"

    Cora doesn't listen. Wordlessly she falls to the ground, her body as hard and pale as withered chalk.

    My heartbeat rings in my ears. Why didn't. . . Why didn't Cora listen to me? Why won't Ben stand up either, cry out in anguish or something. . . This has to be a trick to get me to lower my guard, it has to be.

    Vivian sits up and drinks in the scene. Ever-so-slowly her face becomes white and her eyes look absolutely frightened.

    I can't bear to see her vulnerability. I take my eyes off of her and look to Ace, who is frozen, looking just as shell-shocked as Vivian and I.

    My grip unfurls and I drop the gun. I stare down at my hands, rotating them inch by inch so I can see them fully.

    To anyone else, they look the same as they had one minute ago. Only I can see the sticky crimson liquid that drenches my fingers. This blood will be on my hands forever.

    Finally Vivian looks to me. No longer are her eyes vulnerable--instead they hold the same look of sheer wrath that mine did seven years ago.

    "You will pay dearly."

    While her eyes are blazing, her voice is cold, almost serene, and that's what scares me the most.

    Vivian Calder rises to her feet, and for the first time in a very long time I apologize profusely.

    "Vivian, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so sorry, I never wanted to hurt them--"

    "Save your breath." She gives the computer mouse a very firm click.

    And then a portion of the wall opens to reveal the blue sky. Wind rushes inside, and I plant my feet on the floor as firmly as I can.

    Before I can react Vivian grabs the device that controls the missile and hurls it outside. The wind carries it away into the blue.

    "No!" I stretch my arm out, as if I can still catch it, but it's already gone.

    I can practically feel Vivian's smile from behind me. "And that's just the start of the price you'll pay, Miss Harrison!"

    I look around, as if scanning the walls will help me get the answer I need to the situation. Both Ace and Vivian are doing the same as me and are doing their best not to be carried off into the wind. It all reminds me of my initiation into Evergreen.

    Wait.

    The Evergreen initiation.

    I finally have my answer.

    I don't let myself have any second thoughts. I break out into a run towards the opening and jump down into the sky.


    Last edited by WritingBookworm on Sat Nov 09, 2013 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

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    Re: Evergreen 1.5: Confrontation

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