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    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels)

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    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Empty Re: Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels)

    Post by Captain Whitehawk on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:52 am

    Selvyn

    He’s edging closer. Is that a threat? Or--no. Not him. He wouldn’t. He’d never. He’d--

    Perhaps it is resignation that frees him from fear. He will not hope, will not think, only observe. “That depends.” He swallows the marbles in his throat. “Do you want it to be?”

    _________________

    sᴇᴘᴀʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅs, ᴀʟʟ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴏsᴛ.


    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Asphodel

    ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʀ ʙᴇɢɪɴs.



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    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Empty Re: Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels)

    Post by Michael DeathFlame on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:52 am

    Chase: “Yes.” It’s more of an instinct than anything, the way your hand lifts itself when it touches a hot stove. A defense mechanism that circumvents the brain to avoid further harm, because once the brain gets involved everything goes to shit. Unfortunately for me, the brain is given the chance to catch up in the seconds following my response.

    Before him or now, I could easily crush what was stirring inside of me, because I could always distinguish the singular lone emotion that needed to be quelled: desire. A very specific desire. It’s there now, but it’s not alone. Because I know Selvyn. He has put his neck on the line for his sister, for Dove, and for me. So no matter what my hate snatches at, it can never fully encompass whatever is just continuing to expand inside of me.

    “I don’t know,” I offer before looking at the ground. “No. That’s not what I want.”

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    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Yutash10
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    Post by Captain Whitehawk on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:53 am

    Selvyn

    This is where I realized Selvyn's a horny boy

    “What do you want?”  If Selvyn pushes him too hard, he knows he’ll lose him for sure.  If this is a dance, the only way it’ll move at all is by Chase’s lead.  Selvyn already knows what he wants.  Chase doesn’t.  Or maybe he does.  

    The aching fear ebbs now.  Selvyn could’ve lost him as soon as he opened his mouth.  He could have died earlier today, or tonight, but he didn’t.  Maybe he won’t.  Or maybe he still will, tomorrow or the next day.  But he has this moment for as long as it extends, he could be doing something with it.  

    “I don’t want to push you, I’m not going to pressure you, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”  Selvyn closes his eyes, taking a moment to appease his rapid heartbeat.  “This is--it’s your move, Chase.  But I’m not … I’m not opposed to anything.”

    _________________

    sᴇᴘᴀʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅs, ᴀʟʟ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴏsᴛ.


    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Asphodel

    ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʀ ʙᴇɢɪɴs.



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    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Empty Re: Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels)

    Post by Michael DeathFlame on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:54 am

    Chase: Anything. That’s too broad, damn it, just give me an answer. But he won’t, he never will. He wants me to give it. His eyelashes draw together as his eyes closed, and even in the relative darkness I can see how long they are, how they come together so easily, so simply. Would holding his hand feel the same way? Or if I - no no, damn, it no - I’ve never felt that before, I don’t know, and I also haven’t - skies, fuck-

    I take the last few steps to stand in front of him, but when I reach it I immediately squat down. Moonlight reflects over the curves of his cheeks. This close to him, any hesitation from before is gone. I’ve come this far. I need to. So I do. My fingers are rigid and glued to one another, but I still raise my right hand and feel the fire burning beneath his skin when I touch his face.

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    Post by Captain Whitehawk on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:58 am

    Selvyn

    For a moment, Selvyn thinks Chase has fallen, like the stress of the days before this had stacked too high and now this was the breaking point for the Head Inquisitor. Selvyn is ready to catch him. But no, Chase is merely squatting before him at a height easier to match their eyes, and this is close enough that Selvyn begins to fear a next move. This is dangerous now. They’ve both come too far to meet in the middle to pretend they’d taken a wrong turn.
    Perhaps he’d been too far in the habit of waiting for someone else to make a move; it’s a simple touch, but one that breaks his heart and mends it at the same time. Selvyn leans into it. Chase’s fingers are long and thin and a little rough on the pads and underneath his knuckles. He’s shaking.

    This is too much for you, you don’t deserve to feel this hurt. Selvyn thinks of calm, and ease, of peace in silence and safety in the assurance of held tongues. It’s all that he can offer, given that though he lingers closer to Chase’s lips, he dares not meet them. Selvyn meets his eyes instead, waiting for permission.

    _________________

    sᴇᴘᴀʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅs, ᴀʟʟ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴏsᴛ.


    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Asphodel

    ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʀ ʙᴇɢɪɴs.



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    Post by Michael DeathFlame on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:59 am

    Chase: He’s coming closer. It’s no illusion; he’s leaning forward, staring at me, ready for… for what? My neck is caught stiff and my lips stay seal shut even as the sensation of his face rubbing slightly against my hand draws up a warm, wet taste at the back of my throat. I glance behind him once, twice, three times, looking for something, anyone, anything to break this. But nothing answers. We are alone. No threat of wirings or cameras hidden in the walls. Just the two of us beneath the lonely star in the sky.

    And yet I can’t move. Because if someone is watching, we’re done. We’ll die. And everything that I’ve sacrificed just to still be breathing and touching him will crumble away into nothing. My own words to Dove echo back at me. ”Living is a sacrifice, but it’s still living. Forgetting a part of yourself is much better than dying with all of it.”

    I sacrificed everything to get here. Yet I still could have bled out on the steps of the Keep regardless.

    For today, at least, I’m done making sacrifices.

    I slam my eyes shut, but somehow when I lunge forward I still manage to find his lips.

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    Post by Captain Whitehawk on Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:59 am

    Selvyn

    The jarr of Chase’s lips against his is, well, not what he expected. But he’s okay with that. It doesn’t matter. Chase is here, and Selvyn never expected he would be. There is peace now he can find if the whole of Aspernor scours the earth for him and he suffers for this sin. He got what he wanted and it feels nice, even if it’s clumsy. He slides a hand into the Head Inquisitor’s hair to kiss him again.

    _________________

    sᴇᴘᴀʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅs, ᴀʟʟ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴏsᴛ.


    Anaphora: Descension (Into Feels) - Page 6 Asphodel

    ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʀ ʙᴇɢɪɴs.



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    Post by Michael DeathFlame on Wed Mar 13, 2019 8:32 pm

    Monica: There's a clock somewhere in the room. I saw it in the corner of my eye when the guard led me into the room. But I don't look at it. Because I don't know when the Warlord will be here anyway; the guard didn't tell me before he closed the door. I don't need to look at the clock to know it's been a while. And I don't know how much longer it's gonna be.

    So I don't look at it. I don't look at anything other than my feet, both of them planted as firmly and as confidently as I can make them. Because I shouldn't look scared, because I'm not scared, because I didn't do anything wrong. Because I'm one of them, even if I'm still a Hate Bearer. But they don't know that (right?). They don't need to.

    Still, every time there's footsteps outside the door I can't stop my neck from twitching to go look at it.

    This Tess Tuls still calls herself a Warlord. Hopefully she's not like one.

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