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    End of Year News (December 2017)

    Thu Dec 28, 2017 3:57 am by Adrian

    (It's been one year since I made a news thread, oops)

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    [ Full reading ]

    Comments: 0

    Forum Bug

    Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:18 am by Adrian

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    Discord News/Update Test

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    Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

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    Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

    Post by Omni on Tue May 17, 2016 1:37 pm

    For anybody unfamiliar with the paradelle as a form, here's an explanation of the rules I was working with.

    Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

    I am an engine of the grinding wheel.
    I am an engine of the grinding wheel.
    With slow machines, I do create your blacksmith.
    With slow machines, I do create your blacksmith.
    Do I blacksmith, create machines of grinding,
    An’ am I your engine, with the slow wheel?

    In her tomb by the sounding sea,
    In her tomb by the sounding sea,
    I lie and wait for my judgement.
    I lie, and wait for my judgement.
    Sounding the lie in my tomb-by-sea,
    I wait for judgement and her.

    “Fear not,” said the angel.
    “Fear not,” said the angel,
    And the shepherds, they shook in their boots.
    And the shepherds, they shook in their boots,
    And they, the shepherds, said “Fear;”
    Shook Not-Their-Angel in the boots.

    An Angel of Judgement said in sounding, "Fear machines."
    The shepherds and the blacksmith,
    They shook their boots slow.
    I wait by my sea for the grinding tomb-engine,
    And in the wheel, I am not with her.
    Do I create your lie?

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    Re: Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

    Post by Kalaeo on Tue May 17, 2016 1:46 pm

    Wow this is really good! I love the tone that your word choice sets and the effect that the repetition of lines and the reassembly of words makes! The last stanza tying it in with words from the rest was such a clever thing to do! My one criticism is that the last line is a bit jarring and put of place, but this is really good; I hope to see more from you!

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    Re: Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

    Post by WritingBookworm on Tue May 17, 2016 6:17 pm

    Oooh, you used the paradelle form! I approve. I really like the theme and how you connected everything in the last stanza, though I'm not really sure about the last line. That was really awesome, though. ^.^

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    Re: Nuclear Breakup Paradelle

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